reading popularly now . .

Time Travel Wish can't get no satisfaction! No money to promote discovery, bummed.

Time Travel Wish can't get no satisfaction! No money to promote discovery, bummed.
4.28.16 request for communication answered. Undeniable circumstance and physical evidence.

2 undeniably related communications.

2 undeniably related communications.
2 undeniably related communications

Now IT IS VISIBLE for the WORLD to SEE and have HOPE!

Now IT IS VISIBLE for the WORLD to SEE and have HOPE!
Now IT IS VISIBLE for the WORLD to SEE and have HOPE!

an amateur can spell amatuer either way he likes at Time Travel Wish and Paradox One, the discovery

an amateur can spell amatuer either way he likes at Time Travel Wish and Paradox One, the discovery
an amateur can spell amatuer either way he likes at Time Travel Wish and Paradox One, the discovery

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VDDHCAT: The impossibility of a timeline; of a cosmos; of biology: Recently on Facebook

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Saturday, May 31, 2014

Lincoln: "Government is the coming together . . "

*
Pick a government program you can't stand! Now show evidence that the problem/s addressed by that program, what's solutions were previously unobtainable by ". . groups or individuals who could not or would not . ." can now be handled fairly, within the confines of the Constitution, by those same individuals and groups! 

It's a simple and personal test of your understanding of a functioning democratic community!

Go ahead pick a program! Comment your opinion below, based in evidence of course. Simple! I won't comment back!

*Congressman Lincoln gave this explanation to a reporter in his freshman term. It is too liberal of a statement to appear in Lincoln biographies! It is also an example of how the Republican Party of his day was comprised of representatives who favored a liberal agenda, especially the very liberal idea of his time of abolition of slavery. Yes I'm saying President Lincoln was a liberal. Few biographers or historians will touch the issue of the liberal and conservative divide of Lincoln's time. That would be bold and result in losing book sales to nearly half the population of readers, who would hear about this partisan statement. 

No Lincoln comments. Pick a program!

#biggovernment #smallgovernment #conservative#liberal

Saturday, May 17, 2014

This Bread is So Dry . .


This bread is so dry . . . .

I fear I have destroyed my salivary glands.

The ancient Martians invented this bread; That's what happened to them. 

For my own safety I had to eat it next to a fire extinguisher.

People who live in the desert give it away to tourists. For their own survival.

You need a State license to make the bread, because many ovens catch fire and melt when baking it.

BP keeps several pounds off-shore in case of an oil spill.

I missed my own birthday, while trying to eat it.

Place a strip of beef jerky next to it, the jerky becomes completely dehydrated and blows-away. 

If kids are bouncing on it in the backyard, it gets lifted by the wind and carries the children away with it.

Cures water-on-the-brain by holding it in your mouth for ten minutes.

Lifeboat passengers stranded at sea fight over who has to eat it next.

In southern California loaves of this bread are believed responsible for the deadly Santa Ana winds.

Mean children toss it to seagulls at the beach to watch them shrink.

Parents are strapping loaves to their young children's arms who don't yet know how to swim.

It is kept locked-away by the nurses on psychiatric care units where suicidal patients are staying.

Siegfried and Roy now use it in their live shows, instead of whips.

Used to be called Wonder Bread before the lawsuit.

One million pounds of it was floated into the stratosphere to repair the hole in the ozone layer.

Was given free to Occupy protesters in New York City, the day before they all went home.

10,000 loaves tied to strings were used to raise a sunken cruise ship in Italy.

The Apollo eleven Astronauts brought back several loaves uneaten, after it was discovered that eating powdered orange Tang by the spoonful was more efficient and refreshing.

Binary information can be stored in it for decades eliminating the need for hard drives.

Many intact loaves carbon dated to -2,500 b.c. have been unearthed by archaeologists digging at Stonehenge, along with thousands of lower jawbones.

It is believed that Jesus shared a single loaf of this bread with two thousand paupers, who then chewed on it for two years in the desert.

It is thought that Jesus had fashioned two loaves into sandals, just before he walked on water.

An energy efficient house in Arizona was made entirely of this bread but had to be destroyed after the house kept attracting low-pressure weather fronts, sucking the moisture out of the clouds and causing wide-spread flooding.

If eating this bread a vacuum cleaner must be kept nearby for the aftermath.

Seniors seen feeding it to pigeons at the park have been "featured villains" in the PETA monthly newsletter.

It must be served on a string as per FAA statute sec. 4.09.02.

The bread is almost extinct and so is a sought after food of the extremely wealthy for their new fad, Dry Bread parties. Which are often followed by an evening of bondage and sadomasochism entertainment.

Whole colonies of ants have refused to carry off the crumbs because they kept floating away. Some colonies have successfully formed unions as a result of this long standing struggle with their queens.

Police have begun firing their tasers at it, before even asking questions.

Senior men: Drill a large hole through one end of the loaf, insert penis and presto . . expensive electric vacuum pumps no longer needed!

Used as a prank, college football team seniors would stuff rookie's lockers with several loaves and wait for the surprise. This prank has come to be known as the Hurt Locker, a term later used by the American military to describe the task of removing improvised explosive devices.

In San Francisco Clam Chowder soup vendors had experimented with hollowing-out the loaves to serve their soups in, however the soup would mysteriously disappear before tourists could even eat one spoonful. 

Suburban deck dwellers with outdoor natural clay ovens have learned to tie the oven down before attempting to bake the bread.

The American Red Cross turned-away three truckloads of this bread headed for the Katrina hurricane victims.
In an emergency, if accidentally swallowed, it can be washed-down
with a tall glass of dirt.

It had to be moved to the refrigerator, because it
caught a box of crackers on fire.

It was used a divining bread in frontier days because it
got heavy over underground aquifers.

Moses did not part the Red Sea the Hebrews baked this bread
then tossed it into the waves in front of them.

The atmospheric scientists made a simple typo; That report was supposed to read
Global Baking.








Copyright Reserved, James G. Mason, May, 2014.

#comedy #JamesGMason

Thursday, May 15, 2014

All You Can See is the Forest Through the Trees! Use Them to Get Out of the Forest

"A fungal life form of larger diameter or of a bright color is a good landmark because there will be others of the same variety in the vicinity. Definitely observe rock walls in forests, I'm not sure what they are exactly, but they all seem to go in a straight line to somewhere."


Trees Can Save Your Life! No B.S! Survival scenario: Say you are in this forest (pictured) and you are several miles from the nearest signs of civilization. You went off trail on a hunch you would find a primo campsite and you did, except the next morning you could not find your way back to the trail, because a boat-load of leaves fell overnight and everything looks almost unrecognizable. And guess what? You're a veteran backcountry hiker but this has never happened to you in all of your years! And you're barely concerned as to why all the green leaves fell off the trees overnight. [That's the case in many people who become lost (and they have been drinking) and often it only happens once to them in their lives and it's usually a multiple days doozy.] To make matters worse it's overcast but bright and light is diffused throughout the sky and so you can not identify the location of the sun. And worse the night before you stayed awake watching Dr. Who for four hours and completely ran your smart phone's power down. Worse, you remember you gave your magnetic compass to some occupy protester because he said "I just wish I had some direction in life." And you were a dramatic sap and took advantage of the beautiful timing of the moment of giving him what very well might have been your only way out of this forest! First thing you think of should be to attempt to locate the linear pattern of broken twigs and crushed leaves, bent saplings, ferns ripped, crushed decomposing log and branches, that you created walking in. But the amount of leaves makes that possibility slim, and so you can't find your own impact trail.

Time to observe nature like you were Sherlock Holmes with a forest green safari hat in camouflage green combat fatigues, so that you can possibly save your life. See how those two darker mature trees in this forest picture are leaning to the left (for best light)? [go play Rush, The Trees now] At our latitude premium sunlight passes on average of about 15-35 degrees southerly over our heads throughout the year (that bald spot on your head being 0 degrees). And you know what time of year it is. The direction of the right side mid image where it seems darker, is west north westerly, along the side of the hill, which I deduce is running east by south east by north by west north westerly. This hillside is why those trees needed to bend away from the hillside all of their lives. Mature trees have reached there pinnacle of sorts in their growth and their struggle for light (and water) is spelled-out biologically on their fat trunks to tell the story of their lives and clearly the specific direction they were headed for. Like it or not we often prejudge the quality of someone else's life and history by subconsciously observing the lines and absence of lines on their faces! Are we that shallow? Often! As young and middle aged trees these two mature (genetic twins also) trees and the others around them are not and did not get direct morning sunlight from the east because the hillside is blocking the south east, and the thickness of the forest from their light reception perspective is too much to even get good indirect light from that direction (behind you) and so the trees are biologically programmed to compensate to meet their normal carbohydrate requirements. If those mature trees had grown at the equator without nearby competition for light, they would be straight as an arrow, they would not have had to bend. Knowing this you deduce facts about your direction from what trees are not doing.  A tree bending it's trunk to reach premium light is doing so with sacrifice - a bending tree is a weaker tree because weight can not be well distributed toward the base of the trunk, and so it is a tree far more vulnerable to downing from high winds, ice and rain. A bending mature tree has some advantage in staying alive because it has seated it's roots deeper and thickened them in opposition to the weighty bend of the trunk.

About 285-295, or "west north westerly," is the view.
Okay now you've figured-out which directions are around you. But which direction were you walking when you went off trail? Tip, perhaps you don't' need to find the trail to get back out, but consider that trails are created over time usually for a good reason, like crossing a river, a mountain and etcetera. You recall that while walking on Main Street in the small town next to forest that you had thought about how the solar charger was getting good light at that time. You recall that had occurred about a eleven o-clock, and you surmise that you had noticed a high-sun and you were on the right sidewalk with merchant's buildings on your right, putting the sun at your left shoulder at that moment and walking westerly, and you remember Google Maps had placed the entrance to the park on the north west side of town. Now you're cooking, but you've been squatting on the leaves while contemplating all of this and fire ants have found you and are apparently making plans for a tremendous deadly ant-hill right there, because you're in f-cking southern Alabama! So you dance around slapping them off and shouting "ouch you bastards!" and you pull your pants down and check your crotch and your ass, then you get back to getting out.

Consider clearly, you are conceptually standing and lost in point B and you have a good Bering on point A where you want to return. (Bering was a nineteenth century Russian naval explorer and Admiral of great fame, inventor of the 360 degree navigation and communication method!). But before you formulate a plan of direction try this: feel at this moment for your intuition, like a tiny consciousness is tapping on the wall of the rear of your brain. Feel because now you have much related information and imagery to draw on - intuition isn't magical and it's not psychic, the feeling has basis in your mind you may not be fully aware of when it happens to you. Which direction now feels right to you? The answer from intuition or not is to turn around 180 degrees from facing the view in the picture and walk south east along the ridge, through the forest, and do not deviate, until you meet the trail or meet the roadway that the trail's entrance was located on. To maintain your path on a straight line, turning too frequently is very bad during your escape, pick out the farthest tree straight in front of you that you can distinguish, keep an eye on it, when you reach it, pick another far tree that is directly behind the tree you are currently hugging and panting on. When you start walking through empty Jack Daniels whiskey mini bottles you are almost at the road near town. Congratulations! But oh no! You're still in southern 
Alabama! Why are you there? So don't put away your new Sherlock Holmes persona yet.

How to never get lost in the first place:

1. Know your direction always! It's just like that classic R.E.M. song "Stand in the place where live. Now face north. Think about direction wonder why you haven't before." And so on like that. If you're a person who is not one of those genetically blessed with an internal compass which provides strong intuition about direction (related to one of the gently balancing bones of the inner ear), then you may want to stay out of the forest alone. And don't even get into a car with me, okay? I mean you're a genetic freak man! A mutation that got by our eugenics practicing god!

2. Be more observant of nature's breaks in the seemingly blurry mosaic of your visual pattern. Notice that branch that has been growing downward that you just walked passed off trail. Puzzle for a moment why you stepped over deer scat that appeared to have been dropped while running, and then ask yourself "Is there a werewolf in this forest?" A downed tree is memorable enough. A tree half down, held by another is of interest enough to be recalled. Notice trees with tumors on them, and wish you could do something for them, anything. A fungal life form of larger diameter or of a bright color is a good landmark because there will be others of the same variety in the vicinity. Definitely observe rock walls in forests, I'm not sure what they are exactly, but they all seem to go in a straight line to somewhere.

3. Blaze your own trail! Get some spray paint and . . . no - kidding! I promised my p.o. I wouldn't touch another can of the stuff within one-thousand feet of a national park again. The greatest thing out there now for doing this is neon colored rubber flex bands, available as a package of many sizes, but the small ones can hook over a small branch, loop over a branch. These cost a little so you'll remember to collect them on the way out, if you need to use the dark colored ones stuff some leaves under so it looks very odd to you in the morning. Here's a tip that Sierra Club will want my ass for: blaze a trail with your fingers and hands. Choose mature bark covered trees you are walking passed, turn around and face the way you want to exit and pull a thick piece of bark off the tree, try to expose a couple of inches of under-bark which should appear a yellowish whitish, there's your trail blaze. The under bark is a protective layer, and exposing it air you will cause a hardening to further protect itself. In the life of theses bark-blazed trees this activity is amazingly insignificant.

4. Make and observe an impact trail. Deer make small "deer paths" from a few inches wide to about 8 inches, and if you see one it probably crosses the very trail you walked-off of, use that. Those deer path have something in common. . deer make them horizontally mostly to travel around a mountainside rather than over it, to travel to water and to travel deer orgy grounds. And you can make a human path or a Debbie path, or whatever. Except your path has to be looked for to be followed, and will be only temporarily seen in local nature. While walking to your lost doom step on that branch hard, mash your heel down into the dirt now and again, rip the end of a fern or a handful of leaves off of a branch and toss it to the ground where you walk. Play ACDC Thunderstruck as you trample the forest and rip branches down left and right of you with your bare hands. Step on mushrooms. Torture a cockroach to death on a little execution pedestal so you'll remember exactly where that scene you staged from Insect Braveheart took place.

The End.

Some more tips I just can't help giving: If a plane fly's over at low altitude, your rich wife has called the governor because you didn't phone in two hours ago like the good ass-kisser husband you are, or it may be because there is an airstrip nearby. If it's not windy that pilot is probably landing on runway 270, toward the west! Observe flaps positions before your run-off on a hunch because you remembered some of this article, if the pilot is moving flaps, or flaps are downward he's/she's probably within a few miles of the runway, in that case just go to the airport, they'll have a vending machine and comfy chairs, you can rest-up and go back into the forest the way you entered the airport at the wooded end of runway 90 scaring the hell out of everybody like you were a Sasquatch (except Sasquatch aren't in southern Alabama, they're too intelligent! More so than you apparently.). Lost and see geese flying south? Forget that idea. I've tried it, they mostly fly in broad semi-circles, and if it's evening or even late afternoon they're looking for a good pond they remember, that's why they're flying so low. So the geese will get you further lost, face down in some pond, and exhausted from chasing them all over the forest - but you might stumble onto the trail that you lost while you are wildly thrashing through the woods in random directions trying to watch a flock of a seemingly aimless geese. FYI: A flattened Mountain Dew can in the middle of the forest does not mean you're on the right track, it's a mystery to me also. But if I had to guess I would say airline stewards loading the plane's refreshments, drop the cans on the tarmac, the plane rolls over them, flattening the cans and causing them to stick to the tires of the plane, then the plane rolls over a thumbtack (I hate those on the runways!) and it sticks right into the Mountain Dew can adhering it to the tire. Once airborne the steward realizes he's short a Mountain Dew for the demanding guy in 19-B, and he says to himself very disgustedly "Oh shit, we're gonna bomb the state forest again with another flattened Mountain Dew can, shit shit shit!" "Oh calm down and man-up girly man! See if he wants a 7-up and get back to work!" Said the stewardess in charge. When the cold air of upper atmosphere is reached, the thumbtack contracts, pops out of the tire and the can and falls to the ground, a flattened Mountain Dew can following it in a fluttery fashion. As least that's what seems like happens when you find a flattened Mountain Dew can in the middle of the forest.

That's it for today's Crazy in the Wilderness Show! Now go out and get lost with confidence!


Copyright Reserved, James G. Mason, May, 2014