The ancient Martians invented this bread; That's what happened to them.
One million pounds of it was floated into the stratosphere to repair the hole in the ozone layer.
In an emergency, if accidentally swallowed, it can be washed-down with a tall glass of dirt.
It had to be moved to the refrigerator, because it caught a box of crackers on fire.
It was used a divining bread in frontier days because it got heavy over underground aquifers.
Moses did not part the Red Sea the Hebrews baked this bread then tossed it into the waves in front of them.
The atmospheric scientists made a simple typo; That report was supposed to read Global Baking.